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afraidtoreveal's Blog


5th march 2013

well...i have been cooking alot...more like baking alot...takes my mind off things...n then when the dish comes out right....its an achievment....makes me happy. i can accomplish smthing u know.... well anyway grilled chicken, pita bread, cupcakes, barbeque chicken :) a few of the good stuff i have been home as usual. yesterdy dada left to AUD. felt so sad when he left. i dunno why. i rly miss seeing him around. i know its only for 10 days but feels longer....i rly love them alot.....i rly love my parents sooooo much....but they dunno tht...but its ok...i love them not for show...but truly from my heart....i dont want to live a day without my parents....i dont know if its right or wrong...but i keep praying tht i shud die before them or with them.....i dont want to be hre without my parents.....i almost lost them once n i lost my mind....ending up in hospital....i dunno what i will do if smthing else happened....sighhhh.....i miss my dad.... only gud thing is i get to sleep with mum now :) 

5th march 2013

well...i have been cooking alot...more like baking alot...takes my mind off things...n then when the dish comes out right....its an achievment....makes me happy. i can accomplish smthing u know.... well anyway grilled chicken, pita bread, cupcakes, barbeque chicken :) a few of the good stuff i have been home as usual. yesterdy dada left to AUD. felt so sad when he left. i dunno why. i rly miss seeing him around. i know its only for 10 days but feels longer....i rly love them alot.....i rly love my parents sooooo much....but they dunno tht...but its ok...i love them not for show...but truly from my heart....i dont want to live a day without my parents....i dont know if its right or wrong...but i keep praying tht i shud die before them or with them.....i dont want to be hre without my parents.....i almost lost them once n i lost my mind....ending up in hospital....i dunno what i will do if smthing else happened....sighhhh.....i miss my dad.... only gud thing is i get to sleep with mum now :) 

24th Feb 2013

well the big lunch ddnt happen. my relatives said i wasnt suposed to go...n only my parents went. i was looking forward to opneing up n being positive about the wedding for once n then i dont get my chance!!!!! thre better be a gud reason to the fasct i ddnt get to go!!!!!

23rd Feb 2013

Tommorow i am going to meet my fience. its going to be the second time that i have seen him. wonder how its going to go! he seems to be a good person. its me hu is not opening up n making an effort. wanna change tht. he has no idea am coming for lunch to his house. hope he is surprised n the lunch goes well...i dont even know wat to wear!!

21st February 2013

Got so much going on...but i dont know how am supposed to feel...things are rly messed up in this life aint it. some things cant be said out loud cos it can be dangerous n can lead to paths u arent supposed to tread...i am geting married in 5 months..thts august 11th. i am still talking to 'nitrogen' i shudnt be...cos its covering my judgements..n my feelings. but after so many bad years u finally trust somone n get close to them n then u r supposed to  just leave them??? seems harsh n rly hard on somone like me....
jason isnt tht bad...but its just tht nitrogen is thre so am not able to give my fullest to jason. but its not right since jasons the one am marrying. so hard to let go...but i shud. sigh..i hope it gets ok..

1-5 of 5 Blogs   

Previous Posts
5th march 2013, posted March 4th, 2013
5th march 2013, posted March 4th, 2013
24th Feb 2013, posted February 24th, 2013
23rd Feb 2013, posted February 23rd, 2013
21st February 2013, posted February 21st, 2013

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